February Newsletter: 2022 Reflections + Looking Ahead + My Thoughts on Annual Calendar Production
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Friends,
(Holy moly moly this wound up being a very long newsletter! I promise forthcoming newsletters won't be this long lol. A quick overview; I share some celebrations from last year, reflect on what 2023 might look like in an uncertain world, name that I won’t be putting out a 2024 Calendar and share some small joys that are filling me up lately.)
Warm greetings to you from this Imbolc Season. There is a fresh blanket of snow on the ground and I am admittedly finally sitting down for some 2022 writing and reflecting almost a month into this new year. It has been a hope of mine for some time to begin sharing more writing with you all, and so, in this new year I am excited to lean in and try to get one newsletter out each month!
I have some nervousness around this because I don’t write often and it oddly makes me feel very vulnerable. On the other hand, it’s been really fun to imagine how to shape this newsletter and to consider what fun small bits of my life I can share that don’t often end up on social media. I hope to share reflections from the studio, the garden, how I’m practicing living a creative life in a time when we need so much imagination and lastly, celebrate small pleasures in my life. Read on for more of all of this!
Celebrating 2022 Abundance!
This past year was actually a wonderful year for me. I feel really proud and grateful. Maybe one of the best years in recent times and that feels important for me to stop and recognize this. It also feels hard to reflect this way because I simultaneously feel the intensifying grief of three years in this pandemic, a refusal to acknowledge mass death, a lack of solidarity with disabled community members, relentless attack on trans rights, war, the rise of fascism in the US, intensifying climate uncertainty…
At present we are grieving the loss of Tortuguita, a Forest Defender who was murdered by police while organizing against the destruction of Atlanta area forest for the building of a $90 Million Police and Military training facility coined ‘Cop City’. (Please support the movement to fight ‘Cop City’ by donating to the Atlanta Solidarity Fund!) We are grieving the loss of Tyre Nicolas and Keenan Anderson, also murdered by police. Almost everyday we hear of another mass shooting. I send my deep condolences to the AAPI community for the intensification of violence experienced this year already.
The state of this pandemic and our lack of ability to create safe, inclusive, caring spaces for each other, breaks my heart everyday.
I think one way my body has been responding to so much grief is to really find pleasure in the present moment, to stop, notice, celebrate, and to practice so much gratitude. (I in fact enjoy small moments so much that I have decided to dedicate a whole section to them in each newsletter! Check out ‘Small Joys Fill me Up!’ for some more of this, below!!)
2022 was largely focused on my most recent body of work, FERTILE FUTURES, which I shared as a wall calendar. This annual challenge of creating a body of work to share each year has been fruitful and challenging! Largely, it’s been a great way for me to reflect on what I am learning and hearing out in our collective conversations around how to create a future that is, at its root, life- affirming, and furthermore, how to integrate those learnings into my life. Themes in this collection explore the roots of our culture and how we can sow collective care back into our bedrock.
I really love a lot of the images that came out of this collection, and felt really proud to share a body of work that feels both reflective, and visually cohesive.
One of my biggest achievements of 2022 was being invited to show my work in Michigan at the Saugatuck Center for the Arts! I have been pretty hesitant to engage in gallery culture. It can feel sterile and inaccessible at times. Working with the SCA has proven otherwise! The opening for my show was full of music, dancing, family activities and felt really up lifting. I spent a week in local schools talking with kids about how our imaginations shape the future. We even held a Talking Circle in the galley led by my friend Jenny Viets! I fully thank the SCA staff for their visioning, labor, community orientation and for inviting me to be a part of the experience.
This was my first ever solo-show. I was absolutely nervous about the invitation and unsure if I even had enough work to fill the gallery space. It of course all came together somewhat seamlessly. The wall colors, the vinyl questions of the floor, the interactive aspects… I’m just so darn happy with how it turned out and so glad I said yes to this invitation! I’ll be making a post about this show next month because, as I write this, the show is still up!
Other small life bits I want to celebrate;
We got TWO new niblings this year!! My sister gave birth to Josefina Luz Costello Salazar in late February and we welcomed in little Remi Seggerson in early April. I feel that there is more love in this world because of them.
Each year my collaborative gardening practice with friends nourishes me deeply. While the fall season was sparse and busy with other life requirements, there were some seemingly insignificant moments that absolutely made me feel as though I am living exactly as I want to: having abundance to share, tending a place to gather outdoors, working regularly with other people, sharing skills, eating so much deliciousness… My favorite memory was our Interdependence Day Brunch we had in the garden. In early July the black raspberries were ripe and delicious. We all gathered in the garden to celebrate the harvest and enjoy a berry + crepe meal! We shared poems and sang a Yard Sharing song our friend Jenny wrote. I shared some art pieces I had just finished… I feel very grounded in place and care for each other when I am in the garden with friends.
2022 was my first full year operating as a formal business with a real-life book keeper. There has been so much learning and there is a lot for me to still figure out but this has, finally felt stabilizing and I am so grateful to have gotten here and to have professional help.
Lastly, I’m feeling really full in my social relationships. There are some super lovely people and organizations in Chicago and I am so excited to lean deeper into these relationships this year.
Looking Ahead into 2023 + My Reflections on
Annual Calendar Production
I’m not going to lie, trying to make plans in the midst of so much uncertainty and grief feels like non-alignment for me. When I sit down to try and make a ‘strategic business plan’ for the year I feel highly unenergized and somewhat angry. I know this is rooted in the tension over needing to bring in income vs. a desire to be present to the real needs of the world and my community. I try to bridge these two but there is a lot that doesn’t overlap.
This month as I sit down to do some planning, instead of writing “Molly Costello Art & Design” in the center, I write “2023 Visions” and I shift my mindset from business → toward a creative being in love with this world, naming areas I would like to grow & reflecting on how I can show up for the future I believe in (as well as some necessary business upkeep). This takes practice. I know so many people do not have this opportunity and I am grateful and mindful of my immense privilege as an entrepreneur/ creative/ business owner and how much agency I have over my time.
What is noticeably not on this planning document is another year of calendar production. While I can identify that this annual project has been a positive challenge, I can also name that it is incredibly stressful and often clouds each year with a little dread. Can I sustainably conceive of a whole reflective body of work and then make it happen each year before October? A resounding answer to that for me is no.
In 2021 I shared a bit about my decision to not put out a calendar for 2022 and I am met with all of the same reflections and challenges as I consider having to go back into a production cycle again this month. Creating artwork under stress is the opposite of the themes I explore in my work. It also feels a little lofty for me to think that I can pull together a whole visual collection rooted in collective learning each year! Haaaaaaaa!
I will say that this is NOT an end to my calendar production! It’s just an honest reflection on the genuine time it takes and my limited human capacities. I am now hoping to put out a calendar every other year and will fill in the off years with a different offering! This also feels like a fun new challenge :)
Business < Growth
In 2021 I hired a business coach to help me make some monumental steps toward becoming a business. Among a list of things, I incorporated as an LLC, built a new website and online shop, hired a bookkeeper and started making plans to hire someone to work with me as I planned for growth beyond my personal capacity.
After encountering a lot of fatigue upon finishing my Andersonville mural, coming to the conclusion that I could not put out a calendar as I had originally planned, I was greeting an entirely different financial picture for the year than I had forecasted and became keenly aware of the intense fear I was feeling around someone else’s income/ livelihood being dependent on my creative output.
I have been thinking about this topic a lot since then and can now also name that I feel extremely hesitant to step into any boss/ manager roles, the worker/owner model does not reflect my values as an anti-capitalist and I’m nervous about myself in a position where I need to prioritize making more of an income to support more people. (I’ll pause here again, name that this is a position of immense privilege to get to make this choice!)
What is feeling aligned is making enough to support myself, working less so I can be present in my community more, coming to understand my financial needs better so that I can redistribute more when I have extra, dreaming in more collaboration and cooperation in my art making.
This year I do have one major project on my plate that I am so excited about but can’t share more about yet. Other than that, I am hoping to practice my skills as an illustrator and make myself more available to projects that arise and feel aligned with my values. I’m letting go of frameworks around “successful illustrator,” “business growth” and “clean, polished brand” and trying to orient toward being a fluid and flexible being in a time of emergent possibilities. This honestly could be a whole blog post but I’m trying to keep this brief. Much to learn and open to still here. For now I’m grateful to have an art practice that can expand and contract with me.
Small Joys Fill me Up!
Lately, I have been relishing in the writing of “father of mindfulness”, Buddhist monk & peace activist, Thich Nhat Hanh. As I imagine how I will shape this newsletter, I knew I wanted to create a space to celebrate small, seemingly insignificant moments in my life because I feel so much joy here. When I can attune my attention to the present moment, I am greeted with so much wonder and gratitude. This too is a practice. Here are a few things filling me lately;
All the cool browns and purples of winter. I want to make so much art with these colors! I have recently come to adore the winter season. This is a surprise to me! I have often feared the onset of this dark cold season. In recent years I have been really trying to practice more rest and imagination in this time and now, when the sun starts to return, I can feel myself saying “No, darkness, stay with us!”
Getting to visit my dear friend Sangi’s incredible “Seeds Are Portals” installation at the Chicago Art Department. The whole show from the “On Mending” co-hort was so beautiful and thoughtful.
Listening to the sound of wind dancing through winter oak leaves
Dark mornings in our front room watching the sun come up
Almost daily, my partner’s delightful cooking. I really particularly loved these Turkish Eggs last week! Accompanied by some of my homemade cheddar sourdough with garden jalapenos :)
Ok that's all for now! I promise next month’s post won’t be so long. Thank you for reading friends.
Lot’s of Love and Solidarity,